Twins
by skabs
Summary: Not sure if it's Fred and George's start into their profession, but it might very well be. One-shot.


This is a one-shot and only a one-shot. I got the idea while reading a fellow ffnet story and for some reason this popped up in my skull. (For those of you who are wondering the story is "A Kiss Can Save The World" by robst and the specific chapter was 7. I don't know how I got this story from that, but it wouldn't leave me alone until I wrote it... Acctually, that was a lie, the first part of the first line came and then I decided I would rather write about the twins... so here you go!

By the way Harry Potter and all his affiliates do not belong to me, but to J.K. Rowling

* * *

Ronni-kins was being a prat and making Ginny cry, which was a fine unlooked for distraction for the red headed twins. With breath held, they watched as their mother picked up their younger sister for a hug and berated their younger brother. It effectively made the matriarch of their clan forget her trouble making twins could disappear into the woodwork if not for the one eye she usually kept on one or the other.

Fred glanced at George. George smirked and grabbed his brother's hand, tugging him along under the bar and out the front door, as their family continued on out of the Leaky Cauldron into Diagon Alley to buy their older brothers school supplies.

Muggle London was a fascinating place. The sky was gray with overcast clouds, the buildings old and musty, the people varied and brightly clothed in wondrously modern prints and fabrics. The precocious ten year olds watched as a tall lady in high, high shoes walked by. A swing in her hips made her flirty red skirt twist in the wind. She looked down at the boys and smirked; well aware of their attention, and as she walked away she added a little oomph to her swing.

"Muggles are so interesting, brother dear, don't you agree?" Fred asked, not even bothering to notice George's nodding head.

"Do you have-"

"Of course."

"Then we're all set?"

"All we do-"

"Is stand on the corner-"

As they chatted they walked down the street and flung up their hands in unison.

"TAXI!"

As a bright yellow car screeched to a halt, almost on their toes, they grinned and nodded to each other.

"Brilliant."

"Of course! Now, after you brother mine," Fred opened the door and bowed mockingly.

"Why thank you good sir, don't mind if I do."

"Where to?" The man driving barely waited for them to buckle in before swinging back out into traffic.

"We would like to go to the mall my man. We have a present to buy."

The man glared beady eyed at the twins through his rearview mirror and decided that the kids were earnest. They were both staring at him like they were having the time of their lives, excited and, he sighed, vulnerable.

"What kind of present?" he asked. Maybe he could get them someplace safer than a mall, filled with people who could hurt or snatch them when they realized their mother wasn't with them. Speaking of which, "Does your mother know where you are?"

"She's on a shopping trip with our older brothers-"

"For school supplies, you see-"

"We thought that since our youngest older brother is now going away-"

"Mum dearest would like something to take her poor mind-"

"Off the fact that her children are growing up-"

"You see it's-"

"Our turn next year-"

"Boys!" The cabbie interrupted, getting a bit dizzy trying to keep track of which twin was now running his mouth.

"Yes?" They asked in perfect unison.

"Does your mother know where you are?"

The twins blinked, looked at each other, looked back up front and nodded once more, in unison.

"Of course-"

"That you are in the backseat of a London cab, going to the mall?" he asked before they could confuse him again.

"Well…"

"Not exactly like that, persay."

"How exactly not like that would you say? I can tell if you're lying to me, and I will turn this cab around the second your mouth opens on a fib, do you understand me?"

"Wow, muggles can do that?" One asked the other. The other just shrugged.

"I guess," and they both returned their attention to the front of the cab.

"We told our mother that we would like some time-"

"Alone during this trip into London," they just didn't mention that they were leaving Diagon Alley. "She said that was fine as long as we had our celli pone with us."

Fred held out a small piece of plastic that flipped open and had several buttons on it. Molly had gotten them from a muggle friend of hers, who swore it was the best way to keep track of your children. Not really understanding the concept behind it, even though she nodded to seem as if she did, she'd gone ahead and set the one up just in case. When she returned home she'd set several diagnostic charms on the thing and handed it to Fred. Now if she looked down at a piece of paper tucked away in her purse the script would say, _George_ _and Fred: fine_. If the status changed at all it would sound like a bull horn in her purse, she'd swish her wand and be next to the trouble makers in no time.

Showing the phone to the driver he nodded, relieved a bit that their mother at least cared enough to keep track of them.

"Now, what kind of present were you thinking of?" He asked as the boy put the cell phone away.

"We need something to distract her from thinking about our brothers."

"It doesn't matter if she laughs, yells, or gets angry-"

"She just has to not be worried about Percy's first year-"

"Or Charlie and Bill being so old and not needing her anymore-"

"She's been unbearable this summer-"

"Really she has!"

"She's going off about how when-"

"We leave-"

"Next year that is-"

"She'll be even more bereft-"

"That was her word, not ours mate-"

"Because she'll be loosing the both of us-"

"At the same time!"

"She threw a shoe at Fred here-" Fred nodded at George as George nodded in agreement and indicated the bruise on his forehead that he got while wrestling with Ginny. They had a theory to test.

"When I told her that we always did things together-"

"Like we'll probably die together-"

"She got really upset at that, but she stopping thinking about Percy leaving-"

"Which was when we got our brilliant idea!"

"Take her mind off of it mate-"

"You see?"

The cabbie nodded and turned onto a side street. The twins looked at each other and nervously clasped hands… had the muggle detected their lie?

"I'm taking you two to a specialty store… trust me; it's got everything you need."

* * *

When the cab finally stopped the man told them that he'd take them back when they were done looking around. He was going to stop the meter and go flirt with his wife, who apparently owned the shop.

Fred and George nodded, granting a grin to the man as they got out of the cab and stood at the wide window displaying the shops wares.

For a few seconds they just looked through the window, a bit perplexed. He was beginning to wonder if this was such a good idea when one of the twins grinned and nudged the other. He pointed out a slim black magician's wand and watched his twins face split much like his own had. One grabbed the other and proceeded to send the bells atop the doorway ringing.

"Welcome to-" the cabbie heard before a twin interrupted and started going off about long does this packet last, and what kind of mixture would produce the best paste for keeping this on that.

The other was riffling through a clearance bin and as he watched a small pile steadily got larger. He nodded as his brother showed him various things, then those things got added to the pile.

One managed to find the joy buzzers and gleefully zapped the other before adding it in. His brother pulled out a rubber knife and demonstrated the hollow handle that made it look like the knife was penetrating the arm as the blade slipped inside the handle instead.

Fred managed to find the "sayings" t-shirts and started laughing hysterically.

"Lee!" he managed as he held up a shirt. "Your mom says hi."

"I don't get it." George managed, straight faced as the clerk choked on her own giggles. Then George broke down and started laughing as well, "Add it! His moms a total MILF," he explained to the clerk, who just couldn't stop her giggling.

Patrick, the cabbie, was flabbergasted. His wife, Lisa, didn't look much better. He shrugged as she turned to glare at him from her office door. How was he supposed to know the kids would get such a kick out of the joke shop?

As the enthusiasm wore down Fred and George started sifting through the pile and adding up price tags. Once they had their figures set they shoved the acceptable pile toward the register.

"Please ring us out darling," Fred wiggled his eyebrows at Stacy, the clerk, who he'd been flirting rather remarkably with for the past hour and a half.

"Of course sweetie-pie," she giggled, her face now a permanent shade of rosy pink, and counted out the bills they'd pulled from an envelope in George's pocket. It became apparent that not only were they buying for themselves, but a few other boys as they requested some items bagged separately.

As they left the joke shop one of the boys kissed Stacy's hand, Patrick was convinced that this one was George, despite Fred's flirting earlier, and promised they'd be back with a suggestive wiggle of eyebrows.

"Ok boys, back where I found you right?"

"Yes please," Fred distracted Patrick while George stuffed a few of the more ungainly packages into a magically expanded bag they'd filched from their mothers grocery closet.

He left enough bags out to make it look like they still had the others as long as no one looked too closely, and as soon as they got back to the Leaky Cauldron they'd stuff the rest into the sack as well.

On their way back they once again exchanged glances, something Patrick was getting used to, and scooted forward a bit in their seats.

"Sir, do you think you could do us a favor?"

"Like what boys?"

"Does your wife's shop have a catalogue?"


End file.
